I love movies!! My tastes are kind of quirky (What About Bob? might be my all time favorite comedy) and I’m usually embarassing my family by laughing….LOUDLY….at parts of movies that nobody else seems to think are funny. That’s ok with me, because the more horrified they get, the harder I laugh.
One of my favorite movies from the early 80’s was Tootsie. I thought it was smart, and hilarious, and touching. In my favorite scene, they are trying to get a good camera angle on Dustin Hoffman in full on Ann Landers drag and the producer says to the cameraman “I’d like to make her look a little more attractive. How far can you pull back?” Without missing a beat he says “How do you feel about Cleveland?” It kills me everytime and for the last 30 years, whenever someone asks a question that begs for an honest to goodness/in your face/politically incorrect answer, I think to myself “How do you feel about Cleveland?”
Well I had that moment in the gym this week. I’ll take a small step back and explain: the goal I’m shooting for is such a stretch for me, that every day I get confused about which piece will be the hardest: workouts or food? So I’ve decided that in order to get to June of next year, I have to give them each equal importance because it’s the perfect storm: I love to eat and I hate to workout. Anyone that’s been unfortunate enough to train me or be my workout partner knows that my love of the gym ranks somewhere between stubbing my toe in the middle of the night and stepping barefooted in dog poop immediately after. (My best friend actually said to me last month “Hey, I heard someone at the gym today who actually bitches more than you do!”)
My current, and favorite to date, trainer is Evven. She is one of the most hilarious women I know (kind of like a fit, brunette, Christian Amy Schumer) and she is great at her job. Whenever she introduces me to people as her client I ask them to please not hold my results against her….she’s only human. My plan was to workout with Evven until the show training started, which is sometime in February. After watching me this week at workout (I think I was crying on the roman chair at the time) she said “Um, I think you should start your show training in January.” I burst out laughing! Because she is so kind, she tried to back pedal a little bit, and explain what she meant, and I think she really didn’t want to hurt my feelings. My feelings weren’t hurt! I thought “Thank God! She’s being honest with me!” In order to help me look good on camera, she’s got to pull back to Cleveland, and probably squint a little bit. And that’s ok! I need to surround myself with people over the next 6 months that will be honest with me. People that will encourage me when I need it, sure, but mostly I need people who will tell me honestly what I NEED to hear, not what they think I WANT to hear. That won’t help me grow (shrink?) …..I’m tough and I can take it. Actually more than being able to take it, I crave it. I want to hear the tough comments. I want friends and family to say “Put down the wine glass!” or “Get up and go to the gym!” THAT is what motivates me!
And you know what? Evven’s comment DID motivate me. I showed up a little less whiny on Friday, and worked out on Saturday and Sunday all on my own. I had a little more wind in my sails, and did my best to push down those sarcastic comments that kept wanting to burst out of my mouth. My attitude got a teeeeeeeeennnnsssssyyyyy bit better and I felt pretty damn good about that.
So that’s how I feel about Cleveland.